Walk the Talk

Looking Back

2008-04-14T07:48:00.000-07:00

Monday, April 14
I've started this entry a dozen times over the past 10 minutes. Is this writer's block? Maybe I'm trying too hard to be poetic or something. I'm just going to glurb down random thoughts.

My calf cramped up about 50 yards from the finish line. It hurt so much that if it had happened at mile 5 or before I would more than likely not have finished. After finishing I was, however, miraculously still able to hobble over to the bagels.

Nearing the finish line I felt alone, even though there were thousands of others all around. It was me vs. the finish line. I won.

Upon crossing the finish line, that aloneness was broken by the sound of my children waving and cheering. What a welcome sight!

Volunteers are wonderful. Never before have so many people come together to help me out.

On the way toward the finish line, I saw the streetsweepers cleaning up the 10k route, just behind those who would be the final finishers. It was then that I realized how near the back of the pack that I was.

Pavement is designed to stop you. "Will" is designed to overcome pavement. That's the most important thing that our 10k training team developed...the will to finish.

We too often think that we are the only ones in a particular situation when there is a world of people going through similar experiences…and emotions, both easy and tough. Meet them and share experiences, emotions, and coping techniques. Listening, sharing, and supporting help all of us in our walks through life.

Success is built upon a series of small decisions. Small decisions over time can create extraordinary results.

It's not about being better than "them," it's about being a better me. Every one of us is different now. Fewer excuses, more enthusiasm. It's OK to be the last one across the finish line. At least we crossed it.

Dreamers are to be pitied, unless they create the unquenchable desire to turn dreams into reality.

"Stumbles" do not define your faith. Getting back up does.

Talk is only a beginning. At some point in time we have to roll up our shirtsleeves and get to work.

Rising above fears is based on decisions to become what we can be. Decide that the door to becoming what you can be is open.

Get permission to participate...your own permission. There comes a reckoning point at which, to pursue success, we must overcome fear and forego doubt. Give yourself permission to do something not just minimally worthwhile, but audaciously worthwhile. You are worth it. Then after committing to the decision, everything else is just details.

Find someone worth emulating, then follow their lead. Encourage others to follow. From followers will emerge new leaders.

Early on, I wondered if our coaches "had a life." They do, and they want US to have one also, a long and strong one; one in which we take on new challenges, and live assertively, energetically...motivated.

Consistency, while necessary, is not everything. After all, I've been pretty consistent about making excuses for not doing more.

Never listen to the devil guy perched on your left shoulder. How do I know that he's the one on your left shoulder? 'Cause the devil guy is never right.

We expect things to happen faster than they should. Training is laying a foundation for the next 5 years. If I stop building because of the pain, or because I see less results than I would like, or if I am looking only at this year's Monument Avenue 10k and not beyond, then the foundation goes for naught. If I keep building on it by seeking out more experiences, then the foundation will one day be supporting great success.

People are watching. What a wonderful feeling: your actions may furnish the strength that someone else needs. Who might be let down if I decide to skip a workout? Who will let my weakness determine their course of action (or inaction)? Who will get discouraged and begin looking to someone else as a positive example of what they would like to be? And, conversely, when I push through the rain or cold or lack of motivation, who will be even more determined to do the same? This journey is far more than a fun morning out. It's an obligation.

I am not spending time training...I am investing time. Negative thoughts create pain. Never hold a thought that weakens you. Create and hold strengthening thoughts. Create energy within. People "without a life" don't think and talk that way.

Quit quitting. Could it be that I'm beginning to think that exercise is...dare I say it...important?

Once experiencing the view of the other side of the mountain, so to speak, you will not be content with continuing to view only the first side. There are other mountains, even more beautiful to view, and mile markers even more meaningful.

So, there it is...my experience preparing for and participating in the 2008 Monument Avenue 10k.

'Bye. Gotta run...

16,376th

2008-04-05T15:19:00.000-07:00

Sunday, April 6
16,376th place. Not too shabby for an old grandpa coming off of a 30-year hiatus. And I'm not near as sore and stiff as I anticipated. The 6-miler during training was tougher and the after-effects more pronounced and long-lasting. Now, 27 hours after the 10k, I feel almost normal. There is something to be said for conditioning. God blesses effort.

Later this week I want to sit for an hour or two, reflecting on my posts and summarizing my experience. I want to especially reflect on mile markers, those particularly meaningful (to me anyway) insights that I've experienced. One blessing that came about as an after-thought is that I raised almost $500 for cancer cure research. I guess the significance of that effort was obscured by focusing only on myself.

The most meaningful outcome of all of this has been that my children have shared my experience. After all is said and done, relationships are what life is all about. Their expressions of pride in my accomplishment have been heartwarming. It has also given me opportunities to tell my children that they are my inspiration to begin with. I would not have considered doing a 10k if it weren't for them. Each of them has demonstrated significant strength, determination, and persistence in the face of tough times. Each of them has stepped up to difficult situations and turned them into blessings. They have chosen to grow and be strengthened instead of beaten down. That's what this is all about.

Are there other similar events in my future? I don't know. One thing I do know is that I don't plan to go back to such a sedentary way of life. While we have no guarantees for our futures, we can set goals and move forward, and let God bless it as He sees fit.

After all, having goals helps wonderful things happen. Maybe next year I'll go for 13,000th place.

Showtime

2008-04-05T04:05:00.000-07:00

Saturday, April 5, 7:30 a.m.
D-day. Ground Zero. Post time. Event day. Cloudy, wet, and a relatively warm 59 degrees. Great day for walking 6.2 miles. Even though it's a bit warm, the clouds and potential of rain will keep the temperatures from rising between now and 11:50, my anticipated finish time. I'm going for an ambitious 1 hour and 50 minute event time. 11 weeks ago I was figuring that it would take about 2:15-2:30 for me to complete the event distance. We will see...

Last night I set my alarm for 7:45 a.m., but my internal alarm woke me at 6:30. I managed to lay in bed for a few more minutes, but sleep was over, so I will be preping a little early. Channel 6 has live coverage of the Monument Avenue 10k from 8 to 10 this morning, and since I don't need to leave until around 8:45 for my wave start, and since I am up early I'll watch the coverage for an idea of what to expect when I get there.

I will pin my bib on my bright neon yellow shirt and figure out how to fasten my computerized timing chip onto my shoelace. I want to be official!

I really don't have the wild emotions that I thought I may have on race day. Maybe everthing hasn't sunk in yet. But then, emotions are crazy things. They can sneak up on you. Maybe they are sneaking up right now. One thing for sure, the little devil guy has been working overtime yesterday and today. Bad news--the devil guy doesn't quit. Good news--the devil guy no longer rules my life. While he may never go away, he is becoming far less influential.

The devil guy has been challenging me with negative thougths of freak injuries and a plethora of imaginary occurrences that I am sloughing off, thanks to the angel guy. In fact, yesterday and today the words of my Coaches Danny, "hog calling" John and their staffs of coaches are flooding my mind...Chuck Glover, you will finish, you have quit quitting, you are stronger than you've been in 30 years, you've made amazing gains...you are waaaay different now. Thanks coaches for the past 10 challenging weeks.

And thanks, God, for not giving up on me. It's You who sent to me my sons Jeremy and Stephen, who set the example of exercising and dedicated workouts, and Coaches Danny and "band camp" John. You will continue guiding me, encouraging me, compeling me...carrying me. You will neither leave me nor forsake me. You will deliver the greatest outcome, whatever that may be. Thanks, Father! Today is for you.

Time to prep. Uh, oh...I think those sneaky emotions may be about to pounce.

Saturday, April 5 at 5:32 p.m.
I made it.

Hardcore

2008-04-01T19:05:00.001-07:00

Tuesday, April 1
I’m excited, and a bit anxious, about this coming Saturday. I woke up early this morning, around 5:45, and thought about forcing myself to stay in bed. I didn’t. The 10k has been on my mind a big part of today (it's about 10:15 p.m.). Starting tonight, I think that this 10k will have a bigger place in my prayers than before.

I wasn’t planning on writing another blog entry until after the 10k, but there are as many thoughts now, if not more, as before. Where will I park? What special message am I going to write on my bib? Will my shoe come untied? Will I see anyone I know? What time should I leave to get there? Will I make my goal of finishing in under 2 hours? How will I feel physically when I finish? How will I feel emotionally? What special reward am I going to give myself for my success that has nothing to do with food?

It has been said that one of life's most painful experiences is when we are presented an opportunity and are unprepared. Of the pain that I have experienced over the past 2 1/2 months of training, that's one pain I don't have to bear. I find a degree of peace in that thought.

According to the weather forecast, we may be participating in the rain. Maybe, finally, I will be "hardcore."

?

2008-03-29T10:33:00.000-07:00

Saturday, March 29
?. I'm not sure what to write. In the past I have entered my Saturday training day post a few days afterward. But today, there is some message or feeling or memory that I don't want to lose. Hopefully, as I sit here pressing keys, the message will form.

I feel a variety of emotions...excitement, pride, anxiousness, sadness, and maybe even a touch of fear. Today was our last training session. During our training walk, as people that I hadn't even met came past they would share words of encouagement, and even those that I passed were encouraging as well. You'd have thought that all of us had known each other for years. Of course, I reciprocated. It's not often in life that people who you are passing (either literally or figuratively), encourage you to do even better. Usually others want you to fail, so that they can catch up and surpass your achievements. Maybe you've heard the "world's" definition of luck--it's the reason for your enemies' success.

It seemed that the 4 miles was over almost as soon as it started. Conversing and motivating all along the route, I was totally distracted from any personal discomfort. It almost seemed effortless. It was as if I had floated around the course. I went to the gym after the training and worked out for another hour, as if to perpetuate the experience.

Even though we are "walkers," this morning no one walked to the finish line. You may not have called it running, but we weren't walking. Among shouts of "come on" and "You can do it," there was so much happiness, pride of accomplishment, and cheering this morning that it almost brought me to tears. As every person came to the finish of today's 4-miler there was a chorus of cheering and gauntlet of high-fives. Instead of leaving, people stayed and cheered as those behind them came in. It's as if we didn't want the moment to end. It was touching. If this was just a training session, what excitement or sadness or pride does next week hold?

None of us are the same as we were 2 months ago...in more than one way. We are different physically. We are different emotionally. And we are different as a group. In January we were a bunch of people. Now, we are a community; a community of friends who want (and want each other) to live longer and stronger.

This is our last week of training. Next Saturday...the "big dance," the Monument Avenue 10k; 31,000 participants, among the top 25 10k events in the United States. I'm starting to have goose bumps already.

6-miler

2008-03-28T18:30:00.001-07:00

Thursday, March 27, 2008
I’m not a dog-lover. I don’t dislike them; I just don’t want to be around them. However, Monday day I had my first on-the-street dealing as a walker-in-training with a dog. I was confronted by an “Odie” type of mutt, seemingly begging for a head scrub. Even though he began with a bark, a quickly unleashed wagging tail and slobbery tongue let me know that he was a playful sort. However, I had a goal--survive walking SIX miles…no time to stop and play.

It was quite an experience, the 6-miler. There were 3 significant points at which I entertained the thought of stopping. But no; I've quit quitting. I was determined to keep on keeping on (as long as it wasn’t detrimental—as Coach Danny exhorted, pay attention to what our bodies are telling us—use common sense). It just so happens that this old body can take more than I want to admit. Afterward I was stiff and sore, especially my knees! Getting up the stairs to bed that night was a step-by-step challenge. Whether Tuesday was a rest day or not, it was for sure that I wasn’t going to do any exercise, other than getting out of bed and sitting up straight. After all of this pain, I now look differently at cookies…they are not quite as tempting as before.

Wednesday night I overcame the “it’s too late” excuse and went to the gym for my 3-miler. It felt so good (overcoming the excuse, that is. The 3-miler is still a challenge). I got home around 9:15. Usually I am so tired, I just go home, shower, and crash on the couch. Tonight at the gym I encouraged myself more than once to not quit. I've “quit quitting.” I will “keep on keeping on!”

This coming Saturday in training team we are only doing 4 miles. I’ve never before used the terms “only” and “4 miles” in the same sentence. Three months ago, for me to think about walking 4 miles (let alone at an 18 minute pace) would have been nothing more than a good laugh.

I am different now. I actually feel that I am beginning to walk the talk. It feels wonderful! And…I don’t need a calendar to time my 10k any more.

New photos

2008-03-22T16:12:00.001-07:00

From Saturday, March 15

Quitting quitting

2008-03-19T19:03:00.000-07:00

Saturday, March 22
I've broken out of my usual routine of starting the day with good intentions and ending it by making excuses. This past Wednesday, knowing I would be on the go into the evening, I went to the gym at 5 a.m. Yes, that's right...5 A.m. Never done that before. And this morning I had to work so I missed the team training session, but will make that up on Monday. Hopefully, it will rain (I want to be hardcore at least one day in my life--smile).

Funny about this setting goals thing. People who set similar goals form bonds. They hope the best for each other. They get disappointed if one of the group lets down. And, to keep that from happening, they encourage, and set the example. I guess that's what I miss about the training sessions. A singleness of purpose amongst a group of people creates a strong spirit. And, after awhile, people ask questions when you don't show up. It's almost as if others are let down if one lays out. Of course, there are valid reasons to have to miss a training session. I've missed 3 so far and actually felt disappointed each time. I did, however, still do the training distance on my own. Not as much fun, but has to be done. Why, because we are going to finish! I am quitting quitting. In the gym yesterday I was feeling the burn after 7 reps of presses and was a hair's bredth from quitting, when I told myself, "You will do 3 more. Do NOT settle!" I did 3 more.

Think back on something worthwhile that you quit. Think about the feeling that it left in you. Now think about how we have stuck this 10k training thing out so far. Think about the feeling you have when you feel those leg muscles a little more developed, your lungs burning a little less, or at least not quite so soon. Good stuff!

In fact, I think we are actually starting to enjoy training and working out during the week. Maybe some of us are enjoying it a little toooooo much--smile. I am looking forward to Monday and making up the 6-miler that I missed today.

Could it be that I'm beginning to think that exercise is...dare I say it...important? Mile marker number 10.

Training Day 7

2008-03-15T17:13:00.000-07:00

Saturday, March 15
This past week I did something for the first time in my life. I renewed a gym membership. I'm learning to laugh in the face of the little devil guy.

This morning during training I was going to time myself...but I left my calendar at home. The 5-miler was tough. I jogged sporadically during the first 3 miles and after that it was all I could do to keep a steady walking pace. I see that, as Coach Danny wrote in the newsletter, training through the week is becoming more critical. Around mile 4, I was tempted to stop. Just 7 weeks ago during our 1-miler I was hoping that my shoelace would come untied so I would have an excuse to stop. Ironically, this morning my shoelace did come untied...and, even though I did, I didn't want to stop to tie it. I'm different now.

We received our Monument Avenue 10k t-shirts. I feel for those who are no longer attending Saturday training sessions. But, I will not be critical. I have been that person many times. There have probably been people around me over the years who were saddened when I quit something worthwhile, knowing full well that I have the ability, talent, personality, or whatever to have been successful. It is sad when talented people lack heart...but, when the student is ready to learn, the lesson and the teacher will appear. There are still more lessons to learn for which I am not yet ready. Therefore, I am excited about my future.

This past week, when scratching my leg, I felt a muscle where I haven't felt a muscle before, my arm biceps and shoulder muscles are a little firmer from cross training, my endurance has improved, and my belt draws one notch tighter. I am setting small, incremental goals, like one more belt notch, one minute per mile faster, 1/10th further. I just might be able to complete the 10k in under 2 hours.

In my first blog entry I questioned whether Coach Danny had a life, he spends so much time training and particiapting in events. Now I see that he and the other coaches aren't spending time training...they are investing time in training. I feel another mile marker coming on--it's evident that Coach John (the "hog caller" at Shady Grove Y), Coach Danny and the others have a life...in spades. This morning Coach John drilled into us that negative thoughts create pain. Never hold a thought that weakens you, in essence, is his mantra. Create and hold strengthening thoughts. Create energy within. People "without a life" don't think and talk that way.

It's not about the years in your life, it's about the life in your years. Really living is about vibrancy, energy, enthusiasm, being engaged, living strong. It's about creating joy, hope, and optimism. It's about being bold and excited about possibilities, seizing opportunities, taking positive risks, and being a light in other people's darkness. It's about making things happen instead of waiting for something to happen.

I've been writing that we are different in a good way now than we were before beginning this experience. I did not imagine, however, just how different we would become.

Counting Seeds

2008-03-13T19:16:00.001-07:00

Thursday, March 13
I am beginning to see that this training thing is bigger than me. Today at work one of my co-workers noticed that I took the stairs instead of the elevator to our work area (on the 10th floor). She commented that she was so motivated that on Monday she would begin doing the same.

Another mile marker...people are watching. What an absolutely wonderful feeling: my actions may help bring out the strength that someone else needs. I never stopped to think that what I am doing would influence anyone else. This is turning out to be much more than I imagined it would be.

I bet our coaches knew this would happen. A day came when they realized that it wasn't just about them. That's why they freely and enthusiastically share their strength with us every week in training and through every newsletter.

After today I'll be wondering who might be let down if I decide to skip a workout. Who will let my weakness determine their course of action (or inaction)? Who will be disappointed when I skip the gym and end up parked in front of the TV? Who will turn and walk away discouraged, in hopes of finding someone else as a positive example of what they would like to be? And, conversely, when I push through the rain or cold or lack of motivation, who will be more determined?

Today, it became apparent that this is more than just about me. It's easy to count the number of seeds in an apple, but one can never know the number of apples in a seed. Thanks Tina for opening my eyes and expanding my narrow, selfish focus.

Can't quit now. You never know who's watching.

Excuses

2008-03-10T11:21:00.000-07:00

Monday, March 10
I just got in from a 3 mile walk around my neighborhood. Not having worked out since last Thursday, I realize that I actually miss it (wouldn't have thought that 2 1/2 months ago). I had family visiting so I used that as an excuse to not train. Thinking back, if I had gone walking for an hour, they would probably have been encouraging and would not have minded hanging out until I returned. But I took the easy way out.

It reminded me of using family visiting as an excuse to not go to church. I should have used that as an opportunity to show them how important it was...so important that I needed to be there, and they could come with me or pass time until I returned home.

Who knows, modeling how important exercise is becoming to me may have influenced them to exercise. I may have been the source of strength that would have motiavted them to do more for themselves. A missed opportunity for me as well as them. And I missed the opportunity to reinforce to myself how important it is.

Hmm, seems that while I may be talking a good game, I still have a ways to go in "walking the talk."

More Mile Markers

2008-03-05T19:32:00.000-08:00

Wednesday, March 5
YESSSS! My waist is now one belt notch smaller than before. I don't check my weight, but I guess that I'm not only $90 lighter, but also 10 pounds lighter. And this morning I walked up all 10 flights of stairs without having to stop. How great it is to be breaking new ground; to see these kinds of training benefits...especially this week. Last week a friend of mine went to the doctor because he'd been getting out of breath easily. The next day he had open-heart surgery. What a shocker! His experience has given my training and its outcomes new meaning. While I would like to be in better shape, I see how far I've come.

I think we are often too impatient. We expect things to happen far faster than they usually do. Today I began to think about my training as laying a foundation for the next 5 years. I should keep building on it. If I stop building because of the pain, or because I see less results than I would like, or if I am looking only at this year's Monument Avenue 10k and not beyond, then the foundation goes for naught. If I keep building on it by seeking out more experiences, then the foundation will one day be supporting great success. Yet another mile marker. What more will we be discovering in the next 4 weeks? I have a feeling that there are an infinite number of additional mile markers yet to discover, and one way to find them -- strive more than ever for greater victories. Mediocrity does not open our eyes, but serves only to mask pain.

I am different now than I was 2 months ago, both physically and emotionally. I am stronger and have increased capacity to perform. And, since I haven't been perfect about working out according to our training schedule, I have a golden opportunity to confront my excuses and move past them. Outcomes of our behaviors, both positive and negative, are inevitable. My reasons for not sticking to the schedule, no matter how convinced I am of their validity, will not deflect a heart attack.

Now, especially with grandchild Madeline, I have more reason than ever to live long and strong. I'm incredibly thankful that, although not perfectly, I am doing this.

Training Day 6 w/ video

2008-03-01T04:48:00.000-08:00

Saturday, March 1
Kouin ya no gatoshu! Japanese for "time flies." Training Day 6 already. A couple days ago the weather guy indicated possibly rain this morning, but a look outside shows sunshine. I'm dissapointed. I pictured me out there walking a 4-miler this morning in a cold rain, soaked, chills kept at bay only by body heat from walking--must keep moving or else, clinging to sanity by only a slim thread of consciousness. I would really be hardcore then. But, no--hardcore will have to wait.

I'm extra excited this morning, rain or no. Yesterday my first grandchild was born...Madeline Ella Glover. So, after today's walk it's straight to the hospital to introduce myself to her. Her father, my son, is who motivated me to give this 10k training a tryout. Thanks, son! And welcome, Madeline, to this wonderful world!

I had a strange experience with this week's workouts. Excited that I had survived last Saturday's 4 mile walk I was going to push myself a little on the treadmill Monday night. But it was like I ran out of gas. Only about half-way to my goal for the evening, it was all I could do to keep up with the treadmill, even after I slightly lowered the speed, so I abandoned the workout (Maybe I listened to that devil guy again--that's a question for the coach).

From January 2007 to January '08 I would go about 20 minutes on the treadmill at a turtle paced walk about 3 times a month. I thought I was really doing something. Well, at least I was consistent :D And, I was doing something. I was listening to the little devil guy, just as I had been for years. At least I joined a gym. Even that might have been due to the devil guy. The devil guy wants you to think you are doing good for yourself when you are not. Devil guys are tricky. In reality I was only taking up space in the gym. That's probably why the devil guy was telling me to not sign up for this 10k. He was afraid that might finally start challenging myself. Maybe Angel guys aren't the only ones who can see the future.

OK. Sweat-wicking socks on...check. Warm-ups on...check. Running shoes in my bag...check. Camera...check. Film...uh, no...gotta run by the store on the way. Time to go train. See you there and when I do, say cheese.

What a great day it was to be out walking. I added brief periods of jogging into this morning's 4-mile walk. I decided not to ask the coach whether or not I should have completed my workout last Monday at the gym or if I did right by stopping. I think the coach would have advised me to use LSD...long, slow distance. Probably I should have slowed the treadmill more and kept walking to meet the distance goal, even if not the time goal. I think another mile marker is realizing that consistency, while necessary, is not everything. After all, I've been pretty consistent about making excuses for not doing more.

By the way, never listen to the devil guy perched on your left shoulder. How do I know that he's the one on your left shoulder? 'Cause the devil guy is never right.

Photos, Video added

2008-02-25T03:00:00.000-08:00

Monday, February 25
I finally had my photos developed, so check previous posts for added photos. As you can see from the photos, you are great subjects, but I am not much of a photographer :) It's just for fun.

If you want free copies of the photos, simply email me at livelongandstrong@comcast.net to let me know which ones, and I will send, no strings attached. Or even easier, go to http://affiliate.kickapps.com/16429/livelongandstrong, where you can see and copy at no cost any photo you want. This is to give us training team members an opportunity to share our experiences and it's impacts. Enjoy!

The idea for the email address above, which I created this morning, came from Part 12. This training experience has been, and continues to be, a powerful influence on my thinking. More than likely we are all thinking differently now than when be began...or else we would have quit by now.

Living long and strong is now more at the core of our decision-making.

Training Day 5 w/ Video

2008-02-23T12:26:00.000-08:00

Saturday, February 23
It was about 35 degrees and cloudy this morning. Hmmm, maybe this would qualify us as "hardcore." I thought today was a 3-miler, until the coaches pulled us together for calesthenics and stretching. Coach Danny started us out by saying something like, "Anybody can get out of bed and walk 3 miles, so today we push it; we walk 4 miles." OUCH! This man is nuts! But then again, aren't most people doing great things considered nuts?

Our coaches are amazing. All along the route the come past us, then stop and cheer us on as we catch up. Then they dash off again, and cheer others along the line. They have a special "parent-of-a-2-year old" energy. :) Remember back (you parents) when you had toddlers? Remember how we would run ahead and encourage them to catch up? And as they just about caught us, we would run ahead a little more, but not so far as to discourage them. Then we would embrace them. It's kind of like our coaches are doting, encouraging, caring parents, substituting high fives for hugs. To them, being there is far more than a fun morning out, or an obligation. There is a deeper meaning, for them and for us. We are to follow their lead and encourage each other, to be there for each other. Am I discovering yet another mile marker along my journey? In one of my first posts I was wondering if our coaches "had a life." They do, and they want US to have one also, a long and strong one. One in which we take on new challenges, and live assertively, energetically...motivated.

My goal this morning was to finish our walk within an hour. About half way through I modified my goal to not falling down. It seems like a blur now. Near the end I noticed that while I looked down I was OK, and when I looked into the distance things were a little blurry (weird-never done that before). Kind of like life, huh? Uh, oh, here I go. While we plan and work hard, the future is a little blurry, no guarantees in life. But we keep going on faith; faith that we will become stronger and that good comes from pain. And as we keep going, believing in ourselves, the future becomes clearer.

I remember, around mile 3, a guy behind me saying that after so many years of being a "pancake" he couldn't believe he was out on a Saturday morning walking 4 miles. Pancake--a painfully accurate description of me. I thought yes, I have been a couch potato. And then it hit me, I shouted to a nearby coach, "We are turning spuds into studs...and stud muffins!" We, all 100+ of us, are different now than we were at 9:00 a.m. We are stronger. We are becoming what we have wanted for years to be.

I also remember, as I came past McDonalds, seeing a line of cars at the drive-through, backed up around the building and into the street. I bet they weren't there to purchase carrot juice, but maybe to purchase about 500+ calories and 70% of their daily intake of fat...and that's just ONE biscuit. There seemed to be something ironic, they and us sharing the same street, briefly intermingling as we strode past. Our focuses so different, as are the inevitable, inescapable outcomes of our decisions.

I was for years in those same fast food lines, so I can't be critical, only thankful that I'm in a different line now; a line of people becoming more engaged with life, exercising more, being more outgoing, smiling more, and being more encouraging and encouraged. Imagine a world with 30,000 more engaged people striving for something beyond mediocrity.

Long and strong! We can do this!

Goals

2008-02-21T19:44:00.000-08:00

Thursday, February 21
When I first started training the only goal I had was to survive. Today, for the second time, I set a goal related to training for the 10k. My first goal was last week when I took on walking up 10 flights of stairs at work. Excited by the fact that I can actually make it up 10 flights of steps (this training thing must be working), I decided to kick it up a notch in the gym and set another goal. My pace when I started training was about a 20 minute mile. Tonight I decided to go on the treadmill (still not the real world) for 2 miles in 30 minutes. The exciting part was that I HIT IT, and with 27 seconds left (smile). Every day we train we are different than before!

I have a strong feeling that from this point on I will continue to actually apply measures to my training. Who knows, maybe some day I will be the "after" and no longer the "before." Now, lets wait and see how the ol' knees feel tomorrow. Tomorrow's goal may be to get out of bed.

Real World

2008-02-20T17:36:00.000-08:00

Wednesday, February 20
This morning at work I once again (for the third time) walked up the stairs--10 floors--stopping only once to catch my breath (on the 5th floor). AND after arriving at the my destination, my legs felt like lead for only an hour or so instead of all day. It feels good to get a little closer to actually working out. Not that I am doing all that I could or should, but “baby steps” in the right direction. Only thing is that all of my working out is indoors. I should be getting out in the real world for some of my walking. I do vary the treadmill some, by adjusting the slant and speed as I work out.

Coach Danny's comment about another 10k participant who said that running in the rain was the most hardcore thing she'd ever done. That hit home--I need to get a lot more "hardcore."

In Between

2008-02-14T04:44:00.000-08:00

Thursday, February 14
I avoid walking the stairs like the plague. Steps and my knees don't get along, so last Friday at lunch, when my son Jeremy mentioned using steps as a training aid, I shrugged. Funny how this training thing motivates you...yesterday at work I did indeed use the steps. Working on the 10th floor I planned to walk up 5, if I could make it that far, and use the elevator for the rest. Upon reaching the 5th floor, I discovered that the stairwell exits were locked (post-9/11. It's a different world in which we live). So, it was either continue or turn around.

Our training coaches have, in only 3 weeks, helped me grow to the point where I don't plan on turning around, so I pushed on. Upon reaching the 10th floor, my legs had once again returned to the solid state of "lead." I don't think I've ever been so happy to reach my work station.

While it wasn't easy, I walked up 10 flights of steps. Two months ago that wouldn't have happened...for two reasons: lack of endurance and lack of motivation to develop the endurance. My knees weren't giving away, a benefit that I hadn't anticipated. I figured that some of my pain was irreversible, old age. Could it be that these 3-mile walks and in-between cross-training and 2.5-mile walks are paying off?

I am more convinced now that 6.2 miles is within the scope of possibility.

Time to go to work. Maybe between now and April, I will be able to walk the steps without stopping every few minutes to gasp.

Reflecting

2008-02-10T08:55:00.000-08:00

Sunday, February 10
You and I can be millionaires. An impossible dream, nothing more than a wish? Why couldn't we make it true? A month ago, I wouldn't even have considered walking 3 miles, let alone believe that I could do it in about an hour. But then, we all have capabilities in our lives today that at some point in the past we didn't imagine having. So, what's the connection between walking the 10k and making a million bucks? Success, and the "laws" that make it possible.

Mile markers are emerging as I continue along my 10k training adventure. The first mile marker, in an analogical way, was getting permission to participate...my own permission. There comes a reckoning point at which, to pursue success, we must overcome our fear and forego doubt. Decide to do something not just minimally worthwhile, but audaciously worthwhile. Then after committing to the decision, everything else is just details--as Coach Danny indicated in this week's newsletter, put aside excuses and simply go for walks. How complicated is that? Life really is simple (but maybe not easy).

The next mile marker, so to speak, was to rise above my fears. I had to base my decision not on what I was, but on what I can be. The door to actually becoming what you can be is now open.

Yet another mile marker, or insight, is that at some point in time someone has to roll up their shirtsleeves and get to work. The time is here to walk the talk. With doubt and fear put in place, belief has room to proliferate. Our coaches' real challenge--getting us to believe in ourselves. The walking will happen when belief opens the door. A month ago I wouldn't have thought about walking 3 miles non-stop (although I was hoping my shoe would come untied so I would have an excuse to stop, at least for a minute).

And the last mile marker that I can see now is that "stumbles" do not define your faith. It's the getting back up that counts.

In Part 1 (January 9) I asked the question, "Don't they (people who regularly train for and participate in these events) have a life?" Now I am beginning to realize that not only do they have a life, they have an adventurous life, full of confidence and passion. That's the kind of life we were all created to have. I'm convinced that I have more emotional mile markers to discover. Our coaches are probably excited about the day that I do. Some things we just have to learn for ourselves.

A million bucks (a dream fulfilled) is only a commitment away. Down with mediocrity! Get excited about lessons yet to learn! Now, let's get to work.

Training Day 3

2008-02-09T05:00:00.000-08:00

Saturday, February 9
Again I am up before the alarm, anxious, nervous about venturing into 3-mile land. It's cold and I have on my 4 layers of garments, none of which are cotton. They warned us about cotton.

In last week's post I commented that my legs felt like lead. Well, if there is a substance heavier than lead, my legs feel like that from this morning's 3-miler, a venture into uncharted territory. And I experienced a strange phenomenon. Water magically appeared on my skin. Since returning home I have been drinking water and juice. Hopefully that will help reduce the tendency for my calf muscle to cramp.

I am convinced that those running shoes were worth every penny. While I will more than likely be stiff and maybe sore tomorrow, I am not experiencing the aching shins.

I just noticed...if Starbucks was over there, what were doing over here? smile

Another phenomenon I experienced today was that during the 3-mile walk, even though I was tiring (I think the giveaway was my tormented muscles crying out), it actually didn't feel that hard...at the time. Walking with a group, exchanging brief comments with my fellow walkers as they breezed past me, and avoiding getting run over by cars helps distract from the pain, that is until after you finish.

A month ago I was hoping that I wouldn't finish last. Now, I am not looking to see who is behind or ahead, who I pass or who passes me. It's not about being better than "them," it's about being better tomorrow than I am today. Yes, every one of us will be different after every training session, both group and individual. Fewer excuses, more enthusiasm. It's OK to be the last one across the finish line. At least we will cross it. For some of us, maybe for the first time...but hopefully not for the last. Thanks to our coaches, we are beginning to think like winners instead of weiners.

Looks like it will be a week from tomorrow (Sunday) that I add my photos to this and next week's blogs.

Training Day 2

2008-02-03T14:12:00.000-08:00

Saturday, February 2
I'm back from my second training session with Coach Danny and the other volunteer coaches. To get the group's attention one amazingly motivating coach gives a hoot that would be the envy of any respectable hog farmer. After calesthenics with healthy doses of motivation injected, we were off for 2 miles. But, once again, it isn't the physical challenge of walking 2 miles that sticks with me. It's the fact that everyone there wants ME to succeed.

That just isn't normal. Think about it. If you are tops at work, you would probably not want to encourage your co-workers, because you want to stay tops. If you are tops at school, why encourage your fellow students if you want to stay tops. Competition makes it tougher to hold your rank. But this isn't about rank, it's about comaderie and colleagiality. It's about competing only with yourself.

The 2-mile session was tough. My legs were feeling like lead at around mile 1. Somewhere around 1.5 miles, I asked a coach along the way about my stride. Being a newbie at this I was wondering if there are times you modify your stride. He walked along with me for about 2-3 minutes explaining that on uphill and even downhill grades I should slightly shorten my stride to prevent overexertion on my legs, particularly my hamstring muscles.

Two things impress me about this incident. First, I was impressed with the depth of his explanation. How awesome is it to have such expertise just waiting to help me, actually hoping that we ask questions, probably wondering why we don't ask more. He took that much time to walk along with me to help me understand. He was all about ME. And, second, I was impressed that he could walk a long distance and talk at the same time. It was all I could do to hear him over the noise of my own huffing and puffing :D

In fact, all of the coaches were pulling for each and every one of us. It truly is all about US. 10k training is kind of like the Marines. Leave no one behind. Everyone finishes. You will not finish last, because someone will be there step-by-step to encourage you, to urge you on, to get in your face if need be, to cross the finish line with you. We will not fail.

If this sounds too dramatic, don't point the finger at me. This is not me talking. It's the coaches. After the 2-mile walk today I am wondering what I have gotten myself into. Coaches, you have your work cut out for you! I know, I know, keep my focus...after all, there will be bagels.

Training Day 1

2008-02-02T19:20:00.000-08:00

Saturday, January 26
I was up before the alarm, strapped on my new running shoes and was soon officially "in training" for the 10k as I completed the first YMCA training team outing. There were about 75 people gathered from all walks (no pun intended) of life. And there were even men. The coach led...are you ready for this...calesthenics. That's right, side straddle hops, toe touches, and such. Doesn't THAT take you back to high school gym class? He then assigned us to small groups and off we went to walk our mile.

Aside from the physical aspects of it all, there is a camraderie, a spirit, that hope bestows. There are no negative words, no discouragement, no put-down, no hoping that others will fail so you will win. There were no devil guys sitting on anyone's shoulders, only angel guys. And then there's the "head" angel guy, head cheerleader, head supporter, Coach Danny (below).

There is serious fun happening here. People are enjoying coming together to emotionally and spiritually lift each other up. The veteran participants and coaches continually say things like "You have it in you!" and "Be proud of your self for being out here!" and high-fiving everyone. You can hardly look at another participant without being given a thumbs-up. There is an immediate common bond. It feels amazing, and it's contagious. I believe that if I took only one step and stopped, everyone else would begin to exhort me to not give up. As Coach Danny says, if you take only one step, you are one step closer to the goal! And when Coach Danny talks, everyone listens.

I wonder what work would be like if everyone there were that encouraging to everyone else. I wonder what society would be like if more families were like that.

Next week: 2 miles.

Sunday, January 27
Early This morning I felt the onset of illness. I had that scratchiness in my throat that precedes soreness, clogging nasal passages and rumblings in my stomach that reminded me of ocean waves rolling into the beach. While I did make it to church, I have now planted myself on the couch and slept on and off the rest of the day. And so evaporates my first week of training. Usually I would welcome an excuse to vegetate, but not today. After tasting the coaches' encouragement and energy, I was actually looking forward to becoming "different." After all, isn't becoming different why each and every one of us are in this?

Dreaming

2008-01-26T05:25:00.001-08:00

Thursday, January 24
I wasn’t planning to make an entry until Saturday, but I feel compelled, addled as my brain may be. Wow, I have just sat here and rewrote the previous sentence four times. I’m not confused, addled, or surprised. I realize why I choked back tears at the running store and at the informational meeting. It’s all about that “commit or not commit.” I have often wanted to do something audacious, but I have too often listened to the little Devil guy.

Funny how deciding to participate in a 10k has aroused such emotion? I’m coming to the conclusion that it’s not the distance, it’s the “c” word…the…cuuu…cuuu…COMMITMENT.

There, I said it. It’s about following through toward a goal—not just a wish or a dream, but a hard and fast goal. It’s about eliminating excuses. I have said, “So many people don’t know the meaning of the word commitment.” Hmmm, as I “point” the finger at them, I now see the three fingers pointing back at me.

I am becoming a dad of whom my children can be prouder than ever. I am reinforced by my successes, as small as they are, and am excited about my first training team meeting on Saturday.

Wow, I received an email from Mike at Sportsbackers about how his experience as a fellow walker is paralelling mine. I guess we too often think that we are the only ones in a particular situation when there is a world of people going thru similar experiences…and emotions.

Beginning

2008-01-26T05:23:00.000-08:00

Monday, January 14
I went walking today for the second time. I almost need a calendar to time myself. My cardio stuff is OK, it's my legs that need development. I kept in mind as I was walking that I had to make it home, so I decided to walk back and forth up and down the street staying near the house. I walked what I thought was a mile in 25 minutes. Discouraging. The next day, to make sure my distance is right, I drove the car on my course and discovered that it was 1.6 miles. So, my pace is around a 20-21 minute mile. Encouraging.

Tuesday, January 15
I joined the Y training team. Our first session is the last Saturday in January at 9 a.m. I did indeed sign up as a walker, so Jeremy, Stephen and I won't be together at the actual event. Don't make the mistake of referring to them as joggers. They are full-blown runners. They will be home, showered, and preparing lunch by the time I finish, which will probably be around 11:30 (a.m., I hope). But then there is the motivation of free bagels, so that may spur me on. My son, who participated with this past year's marathon training team, "warns" me about the coaches and how crazy they can be--in a good way.

2008 AD

2008-01-26T04:53:00.000-08:00

Saturday, January 12, 2008 AD (After Decision)
I commit (pluck).
I commit not (pluck).
I commit (pluck).
I commit not (pluck).
I commit (pluck). No more flower petals. I commit.

Many times, when faced with an opportunity to "rise to the top" I stopped plucking petals on “commit not,” but this time was to be different. Life is too short to let slip away before committing to something audacious. Why didn't I realize that 35 years ago. Better late than never.

Looking for shoes that will alleviate the physical stress of walking 6 miles instead of, like my current bargain basement shoes, adding to it, I went to a runners' store. All of a sudden I feel myself gently suppressing tears. What’s going on…crying because I was buying a pair of tennis shoes? But no, there's the "letting go of dreams every now and then," "loss of commitment" thing to deal with.

I'm realizing that it's time to walk the talk...literally. Now I know that there is more to walking the 10k than just...well...walking. It's about stepping up to the plate. It's "role model" time. I will achieve this goal, which, as out of shape as I am, is worth the effort. And, hey, I may even drop a few pounds in the process.

Confronting me was a wall covered with shoes and I have no clue as to what to look at. As a clerk approaches, I just know he's going to laugh as soon as I tell him why I am there. He's going see that I'm an old, gray haired, overweight guy and think I am trying to relive my childhood or something. Turns out he's one of the angel guys. He says how wonderful it is and I kinda tear up…again. He asks me to walk to the front of the store and back. I thought he was giving me a test to see if I could make it. He is actually sizing me up as to what kind of shoe will optimize my experience. He makes a decision, and brings me two boxes of purpose-built running shoes. They're like walking on a cloud. AND they are only (ha) $90. I take the plunge. Wow, I feel lighter already…$90 lighter. I start feeling different…inside. I am actually looking forward to taking them out for a test walk.

Immediately upon arriving at home I changed into my clouds and took a test walk up the street a couple blocks and back. I could for the first time in my life relate to the guy on Survivorman.

2008 BC

2008-01-21T11:11:00.000-08:00

Monday, January 21, 2008
Today at lunch at Jersey Mike's my son Jeremy told me that he was proud of me. WOW. That meant the whole world to me for reasons beyond his awareness. The occasion for his comment was that I have registered to participate in the Monument Avenue 10k on April 5, 2008.

Now, please don't misunderstand. My relationships with my children seem strong and healthy. I look back with great satisfaction on all of the time, energy, and love that I have invested in them, and to this day we enjoy being together. Jeremy and I get together for lunch weekly. In fact, it was over lunch that my son Jeremy encouraged me to create this blog. He has also encouraged me to include photos in my blog, so starting with our first training, I will be the guy training with a camera.

Surprisingly (to me anyway) keeping this blog is becoming more significant than I imagined. It's only a diary...right? Wrong. Take a peek at the last couple of weeks…

Early January 2008 B.C. (Before Commitment)
The little Angel guy sitting on my right shoulder says, "Do it," while the little Devil guy on my left says, "You won’t make it, so why put yourself through that suffering?" Devil guys are ruthless.

Why would I even consider walking a 10k (about 6 miles), when my lifestyle has been one of physical mediocrity for many years? One reason is my children. They are a big part of my inspiration. They are active and health-conscious. They don’t make excuses. They are the examples that I should be to them; examples that I once was. Many years ago I did indeed work out regularly, and over time have fallen into a less and less active lifestyle.

But now back to the decision--to participate or not to participate, that was the question. Although life really is simple, I was complicating my decision with excuses. I've done well over the years at justifying my mediocrity, while dreaming of greatness. Dreamers are to be pitied, unless they create the unquenchable desire to turn dreams into reality. I have given that “burning desire” thing a shot on a couple of occasions, but extinguished the flame. I just rewrote the last sentence. I first wrote, “…but soon let the flame be extinguished." That's where mediocrity comes from—believing that your flame was extinguished by someone or something outside of yourself. Truth is that I have always been above mediocre and generally haven't allowed myself to realize it. Greatness is inside. It's inside all of us.

So, there's bad news, and good news. Bad news: I am the Devil guy. Good news: I am the Angel guy. Decision time.

Wednesday, January 9
I attended an informational meeting at the Manchester YMCA. Two guys presented information. One was with Sportsbackers and the other was the head coach. Between them, they've run like 400 events. Don’t they have a life?

At the meeting there were about 40 women...and me. When the coach asked for questions, I was tempted to ask if there would be any other males participating. Maybe the males are the runners and women are the walkers. Maybe, during the actual 10k, when I come by labeled as a "walker" the spectators lining the route will shout at me, "Girly man!" Maybe I could wear a costume. Then again, maybe I am generalizing and complicating.

Nevertheless, I think I am going to participate, and wanting to live to tell about my experience, I will still register as a “walker.”